They found their way to the halls of residence and parked there. Val shivered as they got out of the car, and he suggested they go get a bite of something to eat and a cuppa before making a start. It was partly consideration for her, but also a desire to delay the chore that faced them.
The café they found was a traditional place, steamed-up windows and the scent of frying bacon and wet clothes. Andrew had an all-day breakfast, suddenly ravenous, and Val chose egg on toast but didn’t clear her plate. He should talk to her about it, he thought; he would talk to her about it, but not now, not yet. He didn’t want to put any more pressure on her.
He still hadn’t told her about Garrington, about knowing the identity of one of the thugs, and the more time passed, the less he wanted to confide in her. It would mean explaining about Louise Murray and how he had visited Luke, and that would feel disloyal. And if he felt it was disloyal, then it surely would read like that to Val. Keeping it from her thus far would be seen as something worse than it was, as a betrayal at a time when she was vulnerable.
They had Jason’s key and made themselves known to the manager of the halls, who they’d spoken to on the phone. She greeted them warmly. Andrew liked the lilt of her accent. ‘We’re just up here,’ she said. He was glad of the guidance; although he had been here before, helping Jason move in, he would never have remembered the way.
‘If there’s anything you need, just give us a call.’ She left them outside the room.
Andrew opened the door. The space was small and cluttered and shouted Jason from every angle: his guitar, his rugby shirt, his photos. Andrew took a sharp breath and moved towards the desk at the back wall where books and CDs and files were strewn about. Val took a step after him and stopped in the middle of the room between the bed and the chest of drawers.
Andrew scanned the desk. What had Jason been reading, working on, listening to? Hungry for more knowledge about his son. When he turned back to Val, she moved to him. They embraced. All the nevers, thought Andrew. He will never come in that door, play that song, read another word. He eased himself away from her.
‘I’ll fetch the boxes,’ he said. ‘I’ll do the books, if you can empty the drawers.’
She nodded, and they set to work.
Louise
‘Oh, Louise.’ Omar looked crestfallen, shaking his head at her when she went in the shop for milk. ‘It shouldn’t be allowed.’ He waved his hand at the bundles of newspapers he was undoing for the shelves.
Her eyes flew from one headline to the next. COMA BOY’S REIGN OF TERROR – DEATH IN VAIN? STUDENT GAVE LIFE FOR TEENAGE THUG. COMA VICTIM’S LIFE OF CRIME. Luke’s face and Jason’s staring out at her in black and white.
Louise felt her heart clench, gasped at the savagery of the words.
‘Don’t read them,’ Omar said.
She was dizzy, frightened. ‘How can I not read them?’
‘It’s all lies,’ he said.
‘I need to know what they’re saying.’ She got out her purse.
‘Keep your money,’ he said. ‘If I could, I’d burn the lot.’
She forgot the milk. Ran home and spread the papers out. Ten minutes until she had to wake Ruby.
It was lies, most of it. The facts twisted beyond all recognition. Supposition and exaggeration and righteous indignation stuffed between barbed comments. Luke had been out of control, uncontrollable, feckless, reckless, known to the police, excluded from school, a thug, prone to antisocial behaviour, a budding criminal, an arsonist, a vandal, a drug-user, disturbed. He’d been raised in a broken home, by a single parent who had children by two different men. Neither of the children saw their fathers. There was no mention of Eddie’s sudden death. Luke had caused explosions in an arson attack, defaced public property. Neighbours reported living in fear. A source close to the family did not want to be named.
He was the devil incarnate, her spawn.
Something broke inside her. This was her boy, her lovely boy, lying sick in a coma, his skull broken, and they could write all this about him. The cruelty of it sang through her, circulated like acid in her blood. And a great swell of doubt came crashing after it. Was it her fault? Could she have done more? Done better? Was this a broken home? She had filled it with love and encouraged laughter, tried to keep it warm, kept the fridge stocked, their clothes clean. Revelled in them, even when she was ragged with fatigue. She’d have done anything to prevent Eddie’s death; she had not chosen to be left on her own raising a family. And in her heart she did not equate lone parents with broken homes. Weren’t they simply victims of unsuccessful relationships? While a broken home was a dysfunctional one, surely, one without love or care or comfort.
